IT'S THE NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN. YOU DECIDED THAT THIS YEAR, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR UNREMARKABLE LIFE, YOU'RE GOING TO CARVE A JACK O'LANTERN. FORTUNATELY, ON YOUR WAY HOME TODAY, YOU FOUND A BEAUTIFUL, BLUE RIBBON PUMPKIN SITTING HELPLESSLY ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. NOW, IN YOUR KITCHEN, YOU'RE STANDING IN FRONT OF IT, STUDYING EACH ONE OF ITS EXQUISITE CURVES. ADMIRING ITS SMOOTH AND FLAWLESS SKIN. BASKING IN ITS WARM, ORANGE HUE. AS YOU CONTINUE EYEFUCKING IT, YOU NOTICE SOMETHING CURIOUS. HOW COULD YOU HAVE MISSED THIS BEFORE? A PERFECTLY DICKSIZED HOLE, RIGHT IN THE CENTER, BEGGING TO BE PLUGGED. YOU PACE AROUND IN THE KITCHEN FOR A FEW MINUTES, TRYING TO FIGHT OFF THE IMPURE THOUGHTS AS THEY COME FLOODING IN. BUT BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOUR PANTS ARE AROUND YOUR ANKLES AND YOU'RE GETTING DEEP IN THAT PUMPKIN'S GUTS. GRABBING THE STEM LIKE A SADDLEHORN, IMAGINING YOU'RE PERFORMING AT SOME KIND OF FUCKED UP BACKWOODS RODEO. YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PICTURE AN ENTIRE AUDIENCE WATCHING. YOU'RE GIVING THE BEST PERFORMANCE OF YOUR LIFE. FOR A MOMENT, YOU CAN EVEN HEAR APPLAUSE, BUT THEN YOU REALIZE IT'S JUST THE SOUND OF YOUR BALLBAG SLAPPING AGAINST THE RIND. RIGHT AS YOU START TO FILL IT WITH A DIFFERENT KIND OF SEED, YOU HEAR BANGING ON YOUR FRONT DOOR. YOU PANIC. MAYBE IT'S THE COPS. YOU DIDN'T THINK FUCKING GOURDS WAS AGAINST THE LAW, BUT YOUR POST-CUM SHAME HAS YOU QUESTIONING EVERYTHING YOU JUST DID. AS YOU APPROACH THE DOOR, THE BANGING NOISE CONTINUES, ALONG WITH THE SOUND OF CLOMPING HOOVES. YOU OPEN THE DOOR. IT'S A HEADLESS GUY ON A HORSE. HE GESTURES AGGRESSIVELY TOWARD THE SOGGY PUMPKIN ON THE TABLE. PUSHING PAST YOU, HE MAKES HIS WAY TO THE KITCHEN AND GRABS THE PUMPKIN FROM THE TABLE THEN WALKS BACK OUT. HE KICKS YOU IN THE DICK SO HARD THAT THE SMALL AMOUNT OF CUM STILL IN YOUR BALLS SHOOTS UP THROUGH YOUR BODY INTO YOUR MOUTH. HE RIDES AWAY INTO THE NIGHT, BUT ONLY AFTER HIS HORSE TAKES A GIANT, STEAMY SHIT ON YOUR FRONT DOOR STEP. YOU DECIDE NEVER TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, BECAUSE WHILE THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN IS A NOTORIOUSLY EVIL MONSTER, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR WHO THE REAL VILLAIN OF THIS STORY IS.
