DECENT CANDLES :: THEYRE PRETTY FUCKING DECENT
NAUGHTY LIST
EGGNOG
CANDY CANE
MISTLETOE
$24.99
16 OUNCES
THE EXPERIENCE
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND YOU HEAR SOMETHING COMING DOWN THE CHIMNEY. IS IT SANTA? FUCK NO, HE'S BUSY RAILING HOT MOMS. IT'S A YOUNG, SEXY ASS MRS.CLAUS AND SHE'S THIRSTY FOR BALLMILK. SHE SITS IN YOUR LAP AND PUSHES HER BIG, JOLLY TITS IN YOUR FACE. AS YOU'RE SUCKING AWAY, YOU NOTICE THESE TITTIES ARE FULL OF EGGNOG. YOU ALSO NOTICE THE SMELL OF PEPPERMINT, THEN YOU REALIZE SHE'S USING A CANDY CANE TO PLAY HER ASSHOLE LIKE A SLIDEWHISTLE. JUST LIKE THE GRINCH'S HEART, YOUR LITTLE DICK GROWS THREE TIMES LARGER AND NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING YULE LOG. YOUR SACK IS FILLING WITH CHRISTMAS JOY AND IF THERE'S ONE THING MRS.CLAUS LOVES, IT'S A HUGE, FULL SACK. SHE JERKS YOU OFF WITH YOUR OWN STOCKING WHILE MAKING YOU NAME ALL OF SANTA'S REINDEER. BY THE TIME YOU GET TO 'BLIXEM', YOU'RE READY TO UNLEASH A BLIZZARD OF JIZZ. SHE'S DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS, ALL OVER HER FACE. WHEN IT'S ALL OVER, SHE GRABS SOME COOKIES AND LEAVES. NO ONE WILL EVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED, EXCEPT FOR THE ELF ON THE SHELF. HE WAS WATCHING THE WHOLE TIME, POUNDING OFF LIKE THE FILTHY LITTLE VOYEUR HE IS.
WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE
- A WORKSHOP AT THE NORTH POLE THAT ONLY MAKES ASS AND PUSSY TOYS
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, YOU CHEAP FUCK?
SOLD OUT - YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT
CHECK AGAIN FUCKFACE
THERE ISN'T SHIT IN YOUR CART. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO? ADD SHIT IF YOU WANT TO OPEN THE CART. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO USE A CART? DO YOU LIVE UNDER A FUCKING ROCK?
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