YOU'RE SITTING ON A PILE OF FRESH, CLEAN TOWELS IN A NICE HOTEL ROOM. THE WALLS ARE LINED WITH THICK SHEETS OF PLASTIC AND ENYA IS PLAYING SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND. A LADY WALKS IN, DRINKING A BOTTLE OF PERRIER AND BITING INTO A LEMON LIKE SHE'S EATING AN APPLE. IT'S YOUR FIRST TIME MEETING. YOU HIRED HER ON THE DARK WEB AND YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER. NOT EVEN HER REAL NAME, ONLY HER ALIAS: MISS PISS. YOU HAVE A THIRST THAT CAN'T BE QUENCHED. NO MATTER HOW MANY WEEKENDS YOU SPEND AT THE PUBLIC POOL, SWIMMING AROUND UNDERWATER WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN LIKE A WHALE SHARK. OR THE COUNTLESS GALLONS OF TOILET WATER YOU'VE LAPPED UP LIKE A THIRSTY DOG. IT'S NEVER ENOUGH. ESPECIALLY AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF CHASING THE HIGH. YOU'RE TOO EXPERIENCED NOW. WHEN IT COMES TO WATER SPORTS, YOU MAKE MICHAEL PHELPS LOOK LIKE NATALIE WOOD. THIS IS THE MOMENT, THOUGH. YOUR MASTERPIECE. THE CULMINATION OF EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN WORKING TOWARDS. THE FINAL CHAPTER IN A LONG, BEAUTIFUL STORY ABOUT PASSION AND DESIRE. YOUR SWAN SONG - YOU WHISPER TO YOURSELF, AS SHE SQUATS DOWN BEHIND AN OSCILLATING FAN. SHE BLASTS A STREAM OF PISS DIRECTLY INTO THE SPINNING BLADES AND YOU'RE HIT WITH A GIANT CLOUD OF YELLOW VAPOR. YOU FEEL LIKE A FRESH PIECE OF PRODUCE BEING MISTED BY A GENTLE RAIN. IT'S TOP SHELF PISS, TOO. PURE AND NOURISHING LIQUID GOLD. THIS LADY HAS NEVER EATEN A PIECE OF ASPARAGUS IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. IN FACT, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ASPARAGUS IS. YOU LAY THERE, SINKING INTO THE GIANT PISS SPONGE OF TOWELS. THE EUPHORIA IS OVERWHELMING. YOU'RE A PATHETIC LITTLE PISSBOY AND YOU'VE FINALLY FULFILLED YOUR DREAM OF BECOMING A HUMAN DIAPER. AS YOU STRAIN YOUR EYES, TRYING TO PEER THROUGH THE THICK, WARM FOG. YOU SEE THE LEMON LADY SHOTGUNNING A HORSEDICK SIZED BOTTLE OF SMARTWATER. SHE UNLEASHES AN EVEN MORE POWERFUL STREAM, LIKE A FIREHOSE SPRAYING LEMONADE. YOU PASS OUT. NOT ONLY FROM THE IMPACT BUT ALSO FROM HOW HARD YOU JUST UNLOADED IN YOUR PANTS. AS YOUR LIMP, PRACTICALLY LIFELESS BODY MARINATES IN SHAME, SHE TAKES YOUR WALLET AND STEALS YOUR CAR.
